What I read daily in newspapers leaves me bewildered and with a growing sense that the lunatics have taken over the asylum. The press evokes terror in all of us by imparting facts from ridiculous studies who claim Oats will kill you unless a Somali immigrant gets you first. Farmed trout will rot your mother’s eyes; genetically modified wheat will invade your garden and eat your children; and God help those that don’t maintain an effective oral hygiene program because they’ll have killer fungus growing out of their gums. But this is the lot of us journalists - to find something wrong with everything. To find discord where there is harmony; to sprinkle hay fever dust all over the perfect summer’s day.

But what gets my piddle in a froth right now is this global warming hogwash. And the fat little men who keep popping up on our TV screens telling us that we must stop driving cars and eating kiwi fruit out of season. They claim that man-made global warming is driving the weather nuts and that if we don’t radically change our ways, everyone on earth will be boiled by Monday; and our respective governments of course, take this opportunity to give everything a hefty price hike.