Reliving the holiday travel adventures of a very weary Father Christmas

Allow me to introduce you to Grumpy Santa (actually, his name is Mike): He writes a travel blog for FareCompare.com and was given the holiday assignment of traveling through all of the Lower 48 United States within 11 days... while wearing a Santa Suit. (Which explains the moniker "Grumpy Santa.") It took more than 60 flights to accomplish this feat, requiring as many as six or seven planes on some days--not to mention the additional trains and automobiles required to help him (and his appropriately attired Elf) meet this goal. Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse: the travel schedule or the required travel attire?

He has reposted his adventures, saying, "As Christmas approaches and travelers head out to deal with airport chaos, delays, over-stuffed luggage, and all of the joys of holiday travel, I thought it was time to relive Grumpy Santa's Excellent Adventure, in the hope that maybe you can learn from some of my mistakes and even benefit from some of my triumphs."

All in all, Grumpy Santa traveled more than 25,000 miles on a dozen different airlines in 56 different airports around the country. His flights exceeded 90 hours of airtime, and he spent more than 75 hours making connections between planes. I myself have flown more than 30,000 miles this year, with two dozen segments to five cities on five different airlines. It took me an entire year to rack up those statistics; Grumpy Santa did it in just 11 days.

As you embark on your own travels over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house--or WHEREVER you go this holiday season--be thankful you're not this Grumpy Santa. But you can watch his video diaries, and point and laugh if that makes you happy. His complete itinerary is here, and you can click on any of the underlined cities on this page to see his video adventures about that leg.

His complete videoblog collection can be found here. Highlights? How about the opening sequence, in which Santa and Elf debut their travel uniforms? Share his travel nightmare when Grumpy Santa misses a connection, and revel in his celebration when Santa reaches the end of his trip and tosses his suit into the Pacific Ocean.

No matter what tradition you celebrate or whether you travel near or far this holiday season, and regardless of whether you take a plane, train, or automobile to get there, I hope your travels will be safe and stress-free!

Credit: Creative Commons airport photo courtesy of pdell at morguefile.com